St.
Augustine and St. Monica
Departed
August 28, 430 A.D.
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“And You, O Lord, how long? How
long? Is it to be tomorrow and
tomorrow? Why not now? Why not this
very hour put an end to my shame?” These
words of repentance marked the beginning of St. Augustine's new life.
A few years after he came in contact with God, he said, "Our hearts,
O Lord, were made for You, and they are restless, O Lord, until they rest in
You.”
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St. Augustine is one of the greatest Fathers of the Church.
He was an original thinker who became recognized as a remarkable leader
of Christian faith. He wrote many books and treatises, including his own Confessions,
and the City of God. One of
the guiding forces in St. Augustine's life was his Christian mother, St. Monica,
who prayed ceaselessly for him.
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St. Augustine was born on November 13, 354 A.D. at Tagaste, a small town
of Numidia in north Africa, not far from Hippo.
His father, Patricius, was a pagan and had a violent temper, but because
of the good example and patience of his wife, St. Monica, Patricius was baptized
a little before his death.
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When St. Augustine was a child, St. Monica instructed him in the
Christian religion and taught him how to pray.
Once, St. Augustine became dangerously ill and he desired to be baptized,
and his mother got everything ready for it; but he suddenly became better, and
the baptism was postponed. St.
Augustine’s father wanted him to become a man of learning and cared very
little about his character and spiritual growth.
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In his later writings, St. Augustine accused himself of often studying by
constraint, disobeying his parents and masters, not writing, reading, or minding
his lessons so much as was required of him, because he loved to play and be
disobedient as a child. But he
prayed to God with great earnestness that he might escape punishment at school
because of his disobedience. He did
so well with his studies that he went to Carthage in 370 when he was still 17.
He studied rhetoric with eagerness and pleasure, but his motives were
vanity, ambition and loose living.
Years
away from Christ
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At Carthage, St. Augustine entered into sexual relations with a woman (to
whom he remained faithful until he sent her away from him 15 years later).
She bore him a son out of wedlock, Adeodatus, in 372.
St. Augustine’s father had died in 371, but St. Augustine remained at
Carthage and switched to studying philosophy and the search for the truth. He also studied the Scriptures, but from a subjective
attitude. He was offended with the
simplicity of style, and could not understand their humility or penetrate their
spirit.
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Then he fell into Manichaeism – a combination of pagan religions and
philosophy. His understanding was
darkened, his judgment was clouded, and his pride was inflated, which made it
easier for him to join the Manichaeans. He
later wrote about this time in his life: “I sought with pride what only
humility could make me find. Fool
that I was, I left the nest, imagining myself able to fly, and I fell to the
ground.”
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For nine years St. Augustine established his own schools of rhetoric and
grammar in Tagaste and Carthage, while his devoted mother, St. Monica, never
ceased to pray and use gentle persuasion to try to bring St. Augustine to
conversion and reform. She was
encouraged to follow St. Augustine and continue to pray for him because a bishop
once assured her that, “the son of so many tears could not perish.” For this reason, St. Monica is also known as the “mother of
tears.”
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In 383, St. Augustine departed to Rome secretly so that his mother could
not prevent him from going to the big city.
He opened a school of rhetoric, and then was appointed by the government
as a teacher in Milan, where his mother and his friend Alipius joined him.
St. Monica's only goal in life was to convert her son to Christianity.
His
Repentance
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In Milan, St. Augustine fell under the influence of Bishop Ambrose.
St. Augustine began to go to the bishop’s sermons, not really expecting
to profit spiritually, but more to satisfy his curiosity and to enjoy the
eloquence of the speech. St. Augustine found Bishop Ambrose’s teachings to be more
scholarly than the heresies of Manichaeism he had adopted, and he began to read
the New Testament, especially St. Paul's writings. At the same time, he sent away the mother of Adeodatus his
son; she returned to Africa, leaving the child behind.
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St. Augustine's spiritual, moral and intellectual struggle continued; he
was convinced of the truth of Christianity, but his will was weaker than the
worldly temptations, and he delayed his return to Christ for many months.
He kept telling himself: “Soon, in a little while, I shall make up my
mind, but not right now.” In his half desires of conversion, he was accustomed to beg
God for the grace of chastity, but at the same time, he was afraid of being
heard too soon. He realized that
his problem was a moral one: the divine truth he was seeking would never be his
unless he first overcame his weakness.
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Soon after, Pontitian, an African, came to visit St. Augustine and his
friend Alipius. He told them about
two men who had suddenly been converted to serve the Lord by hearing a reading
about the life of the great St. Anthony. Pontitian’s
words had a powerful effect on St. Augustine’s mind.
He was ashamed that his will had been so weak, and he said to his friend
Alipius:
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“What are we doing to let the unlearned seize Heaven by force, while
we, even with all our knowledge, remain behind, cowardly and heartless,
wallowing in our sins? Because they
have done better than us and gone before us, are we ashamed to follow them? Is
it not more shameful not even to follow them now?”
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St. Augustine rushed to the garden, greatly upset; his eyes filled with
tears and he threw himself on the grass under a fig tree and reproached himself
bitterly, crying out: “And You, O Lord, how long?
How long? Is it to be
tomorrow and tomorrow? Why not now?
Why not this very hour put an end to my shame?”
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As he spoke these words, he heard a child's voice singing “Tolle
lege! Tolle lege!” (which means “Take and read! Take and read!”).
St. Augustine could not remember any childhood game he played that used
such words. He remembered that the
great St. Anthony was converted from the pleasures of the world by hearing a
single verse. So, St. Augustine picked up St. Paul's epistles and read the
first verse that he opened up to: “Let us walk properly, as in the day; not in
revelry and drunkenness, not in licentiousness and lewdness, not in strife and
envy. But put on the Lord Jesus
Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.”
(Romans 13:13-14)
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When St. Augustine told Alipius what he had experienced, Alipius took the
epistle and read the next words: “Receive one who is weak in the faith.”
Alipius applied these words to himself and decided to join his friend in
his resolution to convert to Christianity.
This high point in the conversion of St. Augustine took place in
September of 386, when he was 32 years old.
The following year, Bishop Ambrose baptized St. Augustine, his son
Adeodatus, and Alipius, in the presence of St. Monica.
She knew that her prayers were answered and died shortly after.
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After his conversion and baptism, St. Augustine prayed: “Too late, have
I loved You, O Beauty so ancient and so new, too late have I loved You!
You were with me, and I was not with You; I was abroad, running after
those beauties which You have made; those things which could have no existence
except for You, and they kept me away from You.
You have called, You have cried out, and have pierced my deafness.
You have enlightened, You have shone forth, and my blindness has
vanished. I have tasted You, and am
hungry for You. You have touched
me, and I am on fire with the desire of Your embraces.”
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From that time, St. Augustine went back to Tagaste, his native city, and
lived for three years with his friends and shared a life of prayer, study and
poverty. All things were commonly
owned and distributed according to everyone's needs.
He had no idea of becoming a priest, but in 391, he was ordained as an
assistant to Valerius, Bishop of Hippo, and he had to move to that city.
He established a sort of monastery in his house, living with Alipius,
Evodius, Possidius and others according to the rule of the holy Apostles.
Bishop Valerius, who had a speech impediment, appointed St. Augustine to
preach in his place, and the great saint did not stop giving sermons until his
death (nearly 400 sermons). He
vigorously opposed the Manicheans and the Donatists, two pagan religions.
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In 395, St. Augustine was ordained as co-bishop with Valerius, and
succeeded him in the See of Hippo after his death.
St. Augustine established regular and common life in his episcopal
residence, and required all the priests, deacons, and subdeacons to give up
their property and live the life of poverty as was followed by the early Church
and instituted by the Apostles. He
founded a community of religious women, and when his sister, the first
“abbess” died, he wrote a letter addressing the general ascetic principles
of the religious life. This letter
is known as the Rule of Saint Augustine.
He used the revenues from his church to assist the needy and rescue
captives.
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Like another Moses or Saint Paul, St. Augustine said to his people: “I
do not want to be saved without you. What
shall I desire? What shall I say?
Why am I a bishop? Why am I in the world? Only
to live in Jesus Christ; but to live in Him with you.
This is my passion, my honor, my glory, my joy and my riches.”
A good example of St. Augustine's modesty and humility can be found in
his discussion with St. Jerome over the interpretation of a text of Galatians. St. Jerome, not an easily patient man, had sent a letter to
St. Augustine, which did not get delivered for some reason.
When St. Augustine did not respond to St. Jerome, St. Jerome felt he was
publicly attacked. St. Augustine wrote to him: “I entreat you again and again
to correct me when you find me in need of it; for though the office of a bishop
is greater than that of a priest, yet in many things Augustine is inferior to
Jerome.”
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Through his 35 years as a bishop of Hippo, St. Augustine had to defend
the faith against one heresy or another. He
opposed the Donatists, the Pelagians, and the Alarians.
In order to finish his valuable writings, and to prevent a troublesome
selection of who would be bishop after his death, he proposed to his clergy and
people to choose Heraclius, the youngest among his deacons, to be the next
bishop. St. Augustine calmly
departed to the Lord on August 28, 430 A.D., after having lived 76 years and
spent almost 40 of them in the labors of the ministry.
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May the prayers and supplications of the great St. Augustine, and his
mother St. Monica, be with us all. Amen.